Mentoring Makes the Difference

When I was growing up, I had no mentors to help get me ready for what I'm doing today. I was already aware that I had a call on my life, but I didn't see any women preachers out there. Or if they were out there, I didn't hear about them. I just didn't see very many strong women of God except my own mother and sisters, and naturally their example was limited. Can you relate to my situation?

I've learned that you can get wisdom in two ways: through a mentor or through mistakes. I’ve been the mistake route, and I have all the T-shirts to prove it. It’s not fun to learn everything the hard way.

It’s also not a very good use of your time to learn everything the hard way when you can learn the same things more quickly and with less pain through someone else’s experiences. That’s why you either need a mentor or need to become one.

But mentoring doesn’t just happen. It is a process of seeking. You have to seek until you find the right person. After you find someone to mentor you, your seeking is not finished. Now the mentoring relationship itself requires you to seek more impartation. You have to stick with the relationship as you seek to learn everything your mentor can teach you.

A mentor is important because she can love new life into you. She will fill you up with God’s love with her own life as an example to you. She gives God’s love away and keeps the flow going long enough for you to begin to do the same thing.

A good mentor passes on the keys of the kingdom of God. The keys of the kingdom unlock the riches of heaven. She will be able to show you how to live your life in agreement with God, as well as how to eliminate the things from your life that are not from God.

And one more thing: you are never too old to keep on being mentored. No matter what your age is, keep seeking out mentoring, even if sometimes you have to resort to old books and distant female preachers to fill in as your mentors.

Needless to say, you’re never too old to mentor others either. Even if you have to do it a little here and a little there because it’s not a major “mentoring season” for you, keep yourself in that giving mode. Mentoring is all about receiving and giving--and receiving some more. That’s the way it works.

God is looking for a few good mentors. Will you answer the call?

Judy Jacobs is known for her dynamic, inspiring and anointed ministry. She is the host of the television program Judy Jacobs Now! She is also the author of Take It by Force! and Stand Strong.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

"Because the gracious hand of my God was upon me, the king granted my requests" (Neh. 2:8, NIV).

The other day, a friend of mine copied a few sentences from a book she was reading by Dr. Kingsley Fletcher in which he talked about being surprised at the way God meets us when we’re not expecting Him to. I wondered how my friend knew I’d had similar thoughts just the day before. So many times I’ve had God simply overwhelm me when I’m not expecting it at all. I was especially amazed that this happens so often in the morning.

You see, I’m anything but a morning person. Of course, I still get up early, but you must never assume that just because I’m up that I am awake—or alert. I’ve tried and tried to change this, but I’m simply one of these people who gets a second wind around 10 p.m. Suddenly, the night is young, and it’s time to vacuum the rug, play the piano or start a new project of some sort.

Anyway, until I can persuade the rest of humanity to work according to my clock, I have to do my best to get it together in the morning. That said, I am so astonished when God touches my heart during those early morning meetings. He really does!

This week, I was sitting at the kitchen table, all by my sleepy little self, struggling to connect my thoughts with the book of Nehemiah. I thought I was only going through the motions, but then I started seeing myself in the story.

I could feel how distraught Nehemiah was over the desolate condition of God’s people, and I knew how helpless he felt to change their situation. My heart began to be so stirred with the emotions of this simple servant, that I burst into tears when I read his prayer: “‘O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.’ I was cupbearer to the king” (Neh. 1:11, NIV).

We know that Nehemiah would later go on to become an incredible leader and historical figure, but before all that, he was a servant—the king’s cupbearer—with a burden, who dared to think he could ask God to use his life to make a difference.

By now, I was riveted. I did not know why this familiar passage evoked such a response. But I continued reading and saw that there came a time, when Nehemiah was in the king’s presence, and the burdens of his heart overtook him. He said: “I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, “‘Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart’”(Neh. 2:1).

Now Nehemiah was afraid. What would this powerful man do to him? Would he be angry? Would he be incensed at what he thought was ingratitude on the part of his servant? Would he perhaps be annoyed with Nehemiah’s conduct and banish him from his presence?

None of these things happened. Instead, the king took notice of Nehemiah. Actually, he took on Nehemiah’s cause, and asked him, “‘What is it you want?’” (Neh. 2:5). Imagine what that moment must have been like for Nehemiah. Scripture says that before he answered the king, Nehemiah prayed. Then he spoke, and he unburdened his heart. The king never upbraided Nehemiah for his behavior or his requests. Rather, he granted his wishes, giving him the resources, authority and protection to do what was in his heart.

That morning, I dropped my guard, and I stopped trying to be brave, dutiful, impressive or strong. God had touched me … in spite of me. I felt as if He were saying, “What did you expect?” I admit, my expectations weren’t that high so early in the morning. God knew that, and He went right ahead and met me anyway.

Maybe some of you need to come before the King today, just as you are, in much the same way Nehemiah did. If you do, you’ll be in for a surprise, too. Our King is even more compassionate and kinder than any earthly ruler could ever be.

Brenda J. Davis is an acquisitions editor for the Strang Book Group and the former editor of SpiritLed Woman magazine.

Reject Rejection

A couple weeks ago I was talking with a young woman who told me she was struggling with feelings of rejection. She had applied for one position after another hoping to get a promotion at her workplace, but the response was always the same: "No."

She eventually started looking to friends for emotional support, only to discover they had negative comments for her too: "Stop embarrassing yourself!" a friend chided. "There are other people in the company more suited for the position than you."

I couldn't find one word in my spiritual arsenal powerful enough to convince the woman she wasn't a failure, but later that week I came across a book written by my good friend Joyce L. Rodgers titled Fatal Distractions. Joyce's story of rejection and the victory she discovered at the hands of a praying grandmother got my friend back on track.

I hope no one reading this blog is battling rejection, but if you are, I've included an excerpt from Fatal Distractions to help you get victory, too:

"Come here, Joyce. 'I have to give you a ticket for free lunch,' the teacher announced. 'Your parents have enrolled you in the Title 21 Lunch Program. That means you get free lunches, and they don't have to pay for them. I'll be giving you a ticket every week.'

"I nodded and took the ticket, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me. I started to turn away and go back to my seat, but her unfriendly brown eyes bored into mine. 'You'll never amount to anything. You'll never get out of the projects. You'll always be one of those people with your hand out, looking for a free ride.'

"My teacher told me I would never get out of the projects, and I believed her. I accepted her rejection as valid, and from that moment on, I began to look at myself through her eyes instead of God's.

"Unfortunately, I had come face to face with the ugly reality of rejection for the first time. I had been officially labeled—from then on I was a project kid.

"I am so grateful to God that His grace did not permit me to live my entire life under a cloud of rejection. Things began to change when I moved in with Big Mama (my grandmother on my mother's side.) Big Mama didn't have any better sense than to believe that, regardless of our poverty and social status, we were the people God said we were, and that was that!

"Slowly but surely, through her love and by the sheer power of the Word, Big Mama eradicated the fatal distraction of rejection from my life. Against all odds, I went on to become a cheerleader and the homecoming queen, and I was even voted 'most popular' in my senior class! I eventually graduated from college and have traveled all over the world.

"Woman of God, are you plagued by the fatal distraction of rejection? Have you taken ownership of the disparaging things that have been said about you and attributed the rejection of others to be rejection by God as well? I say to you, not so! Choose this day to say and believe only what God says about you."

Like Joyce, you may have suffered tremendous pain from rejection. But you can be set free, just as she was. Start today. Take a walk through the Bible and let the Word of God transform your thinking. He loves you.

Beware of PMS

As a single woman and someone who is involved in women's ministry, I often blog and talk about issues that are relevant to singles. But of all the topics I tackle, none generates more interest than the issue of sex.

Christian singles have sex—or want to have sex—too. But the church isn't always comfortable talking about it, so I will.

Of course, the Bible is clear about sex outside of marriage—it's prohibited. But that hasn't stopped the number of out-of-wedlock births from climbing—both inside and outside the church. Even when a sexual liaison doesn't result in pregnancy, PMS (pre-marital sex) can produce soul ties that lead a person into one unhealthy relationship after another.

Sadly, some Christian singles behave as if there are no ill effects to sex outside of marriage—but there are! And now science is catching up with the Bible.

According to Dr. Freda McKissic Bush, a Christian, a board-certified OB-GYN and co-author of Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children, PMS and extramarital affairs can unleash a host of psychological and emotional problems in a person's life.

"Science shows us that the largest sex organ is our brain," Dr. Bush wrote in a recent column. "Scientific evidence reveals that the brain releases a series of hormones that knit individuals in relationship, which complement the biblical vision of two becoming one flesh. For a female, when there is meaningful physical touching, oxytocin is produced in the brain that bonds her to a mate. Similarly, men have the same reaction when the chemical vasopressin is released."

Dr. Bush said there is another chemical that comes into play: "Dopamine is a brain hormone that rewards us for doing exciting activities. The God-given gift of sex is exciting and when the bonding act of love is rewarded with dopamine, we become 'hooked,' even addicted, to this bonding activity with our mate. Within the confines of marriage this is healthy and in accordance with God's intent.

"When an individual begins to search for extramarital opportunities to satisfy their natural desire for a dopamine fix, the consequences include a chemical bond that literally addicts that person to sin. God's desire is to free us from such slavery."

Are you addicted? If so, I urge you to reconsider the consequences your behavior will have on not only your emotional health but also on your relationship with God.

Ask the Father to give you the strength to break your addiction to PMS, walk away from inappropriate relationships—and to give you the ability to wait on Him for a mate. Make a decision today to get hooked on Him.