What's in A Name
I've been involved in women's ministry for some time now, but one of the areas I really enjoy is mentoring. I taught Sunday school for five years at my church and got a chance to mentor both teenagers and some of my own peers. It's a blessing to help other women become who God intends for them to be.
But as a mentor, I am sometimes taken aback by what I see and hear among our youth today.
For instance, several years ago I was talking with my daughter's friend who needed a ride home from cheerleading practice. I thought I'd use my drive time with her to do some mentoring, since she was a Christian and a close friend of the family.
I began to tell her about the importance of having personal integrity and why a young lady's life should be defined by godly character and self-respect, not popular culture. But our discussion abruptly changed when she suddenly blurted out something I was not prepared for.
"This guy called me a cute b - - - - today."
"What!" I yelled.
"It wasn't as bad as you think. It was meant to be a compliment."
As disturbing to me as the young man's statement was, I was bothered more that this young lady was flattered by his use of profanity to describe her. Offensive, sexually explicit language is used so commonly today, it's become the norm in society.
When comedian Michael Richards, best known as Kramer from the hit sitcom Seinfeld, used the N-word during his racial tirade at a California comedy club some time ago, people were rightly horrified. Kramer is white, and his words were quickly deemed racist.
But in neighborhoods not far from that club, young black men use the same word commonly as a so-called term of endearment.
How can the same word be used as hate speech and a term of friendship? It can't be.
I'm black and a woman, and I know what it is for my skin to curl up because someone has called me a racially offensive word. But successful, mostly black hip-hop singers and rappers make millions of dollars while spewing the N-word; the B-word, and the H-word in their videos and CDs. Their lyrics not only are denigrating; they are giving an entire generation license to disrespect women.
My young friend was so accustomed to hearing foul language used among her classmates that she allowed a student to disrespect her and didn't even bother to correct him.
I believe there is a deeper issue than name-calling at the root of this problem, one that Jesus considers vile. In Matthew 15:17, He says: "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man" (KJV).
Let's start today making a difference in the lives of young women. Talk to them. Tell them they are valuable. Let them know they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. It is our responsibility to tell them about Him.
But as a mentor, I am sometimes taken aback by what I see and hear among our youth today.
For instance, several years ago I was talking with my daughter's friend who needed a ride home from cheerleading practice. I thought I'd use my drive time with her to do some mentoring, since she was a Christian and a close friend of the family.
I began to tell her about the importance of having personal integrity and why a young lady's life should be defined by godly character and self-respect, not popular culture. But our discussion abruptly changed when she suddenly blurted out something I was not prepared for.
"This guy called me a cute b - - - - today."
"What!" I yelled.
"It wasn't as bad as you think. It was meant to be a compliment."
As disturbing to me as the young man's statement was, I was bothered more that this young lady was flattered by his use of profanity to describe her. Offensive, sexually explicit language is used so commonly today, it's become the norm in society.
When comedian Michael Richards, best known as Kramer from the hit sitcom Seinfeld, used the N-word during his racial tirade at a California comedy club some time ago, people were rightly horrified. Kramer is white, and his words were quickly deemed racist.
But in neighborhoods not far from that club, young black men use the same word commonly as a so-called term of endearment.
How can the same word be used as hate speech and a term of friendship? It can't be.
I'm black and a woman, and I know what it is for my skin to curl up because someone has called me a racially offensive word. But successful, mostly black hip-hop singers and rappers make millions of dollars while spewing the N-word; the B-word, and the H-word in their videos and CDs. Their lyrics not only are denigrating; they are giving an entire generation license to disrespect women.
My young friend was so accustomed to hearing foul language used among her classmates that she allowed a student to disrespect her and didn't even bother to correct him.
I believe there is a deeper issue than name-calling at the root of this problem, one that Jesus considers vile. In Matthew 15:17, He says: "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man" (KJV).
Let's start today making a difference in the lives of young women. Talk to them. Tell them they are valuable. Let them know they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. It is our responsibility to tell them about Him.
posted by Valerie G. Lowe at
5:11 AM
16 Comments:
Thank you for this heart penatrating,mind provoking message.
I believe the sin in the church, disrespect for women, foul language and myriad other problems come from the fact that GOD is not revered the way HE is worthy to be reverenced. HE is GOD, the Holy One, King of Kings, the Creator etc and we need to fear HIM and be in awe of HIM and be aware that HE also is the Judge of all. May He have mercy on us.
As the young people say, true that. I agree with you concerning the language of our young people.
I agree with you completely. Young ladies should know what to expect from their peers.
As parents, we should try to teach our children godly standards, and the importance of making a difference in our society. If only parents would take the time to invest in their children and not in the world. We have a responsibility to raise them up in the nuture and admonition of the Lord. Take time to pray, have family devotions, communicate and love while they are at home. God bless our Mothers!
Wow. THank you for sharing this. It is true we need to uplift and shower the young ladies with words of encouragement. Let them know that they are beautiful in Gods eyes as well as our own.
It is a shame how "society" has allowed foul language and explicit lyrics to take over radio, internet and television. Young people think t hat is cool to use this type of language.
I thank God for women and all Christians like you that stand up for Christ and will not allow "society" or the media to knock you off your path to Jesus. We have to keep our young ones lifted in prayer.
I hope that you have a beautiful day!
~Melika~
This is a very good article. We need to tell our young ladies that they deserve respect. However, we must teach our young men to respect themselves and our young women. We must hold each other accountable for teaching young men and women to see themselves in the image of God. It starts at home. They must see examples in the home. Fathers and Mothers must talk to each other with respect. We must show our children how to love God and each other.
Vanessa
Thank-You for your wonderful article! I work with 1400 students at a high school and it really bothers me how everyone talks to each other. I have even found my son doing some of the same. Your article was a STRONG wake-up call for me. All of the kids really like me and I have always known that God has put me there for several reasons. Now one of those reasons has been spelled out very clearly. Please pray for me that I will stand firm in His love as I encourage the youth to simply "re-phrase" their thoughts and words. God bless you as you continue to minister to those around you and around the world.
J. Letkiewicz
Your commentary was right on for "such a time as this". Our world is in such need for a touch of holiness. Our youth are being starved for want of righteous examples. Our women are being degraded and our men are made to feel like it is okay to take advantage. We, as christians, need to wake up and stand up for what is true, correct, and godly. Holiness needs to be our banner and Jesus, our King, our example. The cry of my heart is "Lord, fire us up and strenghten us up so we can be godly examples for those coming behind us". As a church, we need to wake up and see what time it is...it is time to get up and work because the night is approaching.... God bless you, Valerie Lowe for taking a stand!
Excellent article...this is an issue that certainly needs to be addressed among our youth on a daily basis. God has given us authority of the enemy and we MUST use that authority to take back our children!
These are the consequences of the Christian "tradition" of not being honest, joyful, and realistic about sex. We mindlessly accept the worldly label of "prudes" instead of saying we like sex and we know what to do with it. Young women want to be “in your face” about sex thinking that’s how to face “the facts of life”. Somehow that makes them more real and not prudish like the older generation. Well, “in your face facts about sex” include these facts too. A good Godly woman who enjoys who she is and is thankful to God for inventing the powerful pleasure of sex can bring her man lots of good clean enjoyable sex which he needs to cover his God-given weakness and desire for sex. Sex for a woman means pleasure and responsibility. She has to manage a monthly flow of blood as a constant reminder of the sacrifice that sex means to her. Her body is the only way that new needed people slide into this life. And it is her intelligent, tender and nurturing care that makes life happiness or hell for baby. The Godly woman is ready to have sex with a husband who is ready to pay for and give attention to her needs and the needs of his children which he has proved by asking for marriage. He has the guts to have a family if he recognizes the total needs her sexuality and his own. Our society has separated sex and babies and rejects the nurturing stage we all went through with a mother. This stage is part of who women are and to reject it is to reject the whole woman. And I say that whole women are good….most excellent and to be desired in their power, productivity, honesty, and faithfulness. We have what men want and need: sex and lots of it without diseases, home and home cooking, love, fatherhood with the esteem and admiration that goes with motherhood too, companionship through the ups and downs of life, a friend in old age, and a better economic state through this marriage. These facts of life are more of an art than legal document. Let’s say to women….be true to yourself which means being true to the WHOLE woman. This is the “real” world of women everywhere. Young women ought to be taught the “in your face facts” that a man needs to know are “I’ve got what you want and need…but you’ve got to pay in cash and character to get it and seal it with a marriage vow.” Ultimately a woman needs to have character galore to stand up to her desire for pleasure and her need to be a treasure. She needs a lot of guts to perform her role in society as the representative of “home” life where a baby finds a home and a man who needs sex finds a home. Churches should provide dynamic classes on marriage that would act like a garage for marriages that need a tune-up on intimacy or responsibility. It is embarrassing to be surrounded by so many gutless women that see men go off to war or to work to test themselves while women aspire to being “manipulative boy toys” and undo all the years of efforts by other women to secure rights and responsibilities for women. Women letting sex be their only value reminds me of the Mississippi River getting out of its banks and wrecking the surrounding countryside….what a devastating loss to all of us. And what an increasingly dangerous world we create by letting sex be something men have a right to anyway they can get it. They really needed to be loved and got sex in a great package deal.
This is indeed a wake-up call for all of us. As believers, adults as well as parents, we know that we are in a war and we must fight to hold the ground the enemy works hard to take from us. Our children are targets. The scripture admonishes the mature women (Mothers in Zion) to teach the younger women. The same is true for the Fathers in Zion. As a matter of fact, the entire family of God has a responsibility to keep watch for the entire body. We have tools which require our personal intervention. Let's get busy. We are accountable.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
God Bless and Help us ALL!!!
Thank you for letting the Holy Ghost use you in such a way, But my thing is what about when preachers/pastors use the n-word like it ok to get thier point a cross? I just can't seem to recieve it.
Today's society of youth has indeed made an about face in the struggle for success. I am a police officer and I see and hear the horrible names African-American, Latino, Hispanic and White children call each other. Unfortunately, the majority of this stems from the home. The children either hear the words in the home or bring the words home from school and the community and due to the lack of discipline in the home, no correction is made.
I try not to let myself become overwhelmed and address one child at a time as I encounter them. My co-workers call me the preachin' police, because I'm always offering a word of God, a word of comfort or a word of encouragement and inspiration. I continually witness to citizens the goodness of the Lord and let them know the same God who delivered me from my trials and tribulations will also deliver them as well.
I often share my battles, both spiritual and physical and let others know what God did to deliver me and how He gives me the victory many times before I get to the battle.
God is truly good and we need to let our youth know every chance we get. Often people say to me that I am an evangelist, but I dismiss it because the Lord has not said so. I tell people I am a witness and that is what I do, witness to by brothers and sisters in Christ and creation. This is my calling. This is all our calling, to be a witness to the goodness of the Lord, and sharing the Word of God with his children.
God Bless...
for sure we really have a lot of responsibility to mentor our young ladies into what God wants them to be. Its such a shame that many of the youths are quite alright with that but we have to do something about this point them to the lord. Thank you for sharing such an important and thought provoking article. Be blessed.
You have brought up a very valid point in this article. The rate of deterioration in society should be of concern to all Christians as an inicator of nearing the end time. Upholding and following the standard of your faith is not always easy in today's world with it depraved standards. I commend you personally and forthe example you set for your daughter and other young ladies in society.
Yours in Christ,
The Reverend Raymond Walters
raymondswalters@yahoo.com
i usually subscribe to christian bodies but i guess someone gave u my mail address. you write up is quite inspiring.we need to earnestly pray for this generation becos if the young ladies don't get hurt they don't turn back.i wish u could reach out to africn youths online. i know God will give u the grace to reach the lost.Amen.
ASA AISIEN CROSS RIVER STATE, NIGERIA
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