A Matter of the Heart
The other day I was at a family gathering when my 20-year-old cousin rushed over to say hello to me. Her blouse was so revealing; I saw her chest long before she hugged me.
All her business was hanging out!
I didn't criticize her or give her a lecture in Legalism 101. I gently reminded her about the message some women send when they wear sensual, low-cut, too-short clothing. She agreed with me and covered up.
But my cousin isn't the only Christian I know who needs a safety pin.
Several years ago, I reported on a story about a well-known female preacher who arrived at a Pentecostal conference wearing an extremely tight dress. The leaders of the group apologized to attendees and promised, "She will never preach here again." And a young woman once told me about her experience at a church near Atlanta, where the pastor and many of the church's male leaders dressed in sexy-looking, tight muscle shirts.
"I struggled with lust in the past," she told me, "so I got out of that place as fast as my feet could take me!"
But in a culture of low-rise jeans and scantily-clad divas (remember Janet Jackson?), godly women need to be a light to others.
I didn't say be a prude; I like to look good. I'm saying talk to the girls and women you have influence with and give them guidance. My daughter is 20, and I still have to remind her that her clothing should reflect Christ, not the world.
Ask them the following questions: What statements do I make about myself with the clothes I wear? Does my clothing satisfy me, or does it please God? Is what I wear a reflection of the Word of God, self-control and appropriate attire, or do I identify with popular culture and worldliness in the way I dress? What standard do I use when selecting clothing—Beyonce’s or the Bible's?
I believe the issue of modesty is actually a matter of the heart. When we love God, we will do our best to represent Him.
All her business was hanging out!
I didn't criticize her or give her a lecture in Legalism 101. I gently reminded her about the message some women send when they wear sensual, low-cut, too-short clothing. She agreed with me and covered up.
But my cousin isn't the only Christian I know who needs a safety pin.
Several years ago, I reported on a story about a well-known female preacher who arrived at a Pentecostal conference wearing an extremely tight dress. The leaders of the group apologized to attendees and promised, "She will never preach here again." And a young woman once told me about her experience at a church near Atlanta, where the pastor and many of the church's male leaders dressed in sexy-looking, tight muscle shirts.
"I struggled with lust in the past," she told me, "so I got out of that place as fast as my feet could take me!"
But in a culture of low-rise jeans and scantily-clad divas (remember Janet Jackson?), godly women need to be a light to others.
I didn't say be a prude; I like to look good. I'm saying talk to the girls and women you have influence with and give them guidance. My daughter is 20, and I still have to remind her that her clothing should reflect Christ, not the world.
Ask them the following questions: What statements do I make about myself with the clothes I wear? Does my clothing satisfy me, or does it please God? Is what I wear a reflection of the Word of God, self-control and appropriate attire, or do I identify with popular culture and worldliness in the way I dress? What standard do I use when selecting clothing—Beyonce’s or the Bible's?
I believe the issue of modesty is actually a matter of the heart. When we love God, we will do our best to represent Him.
posted by Valerie G. Lowe at
5:22 AM
15 Comments:
Excellent piece. My 19 year old daughter heads our youth department and she suggested that we make all of the young ladies read this writing. Thanks.
I'm fairly young, in my late thirties, and I've always believed in dressing conservatively - even in my 20's when I was a size 2. A lot of ladies have the misconception that if they have a petite figure that they can wear anything. I strongly disagree. I'm a size 4-6 now and I know that doesn't give me a license to wear what the teenagers are wearing.
Thank you for addressing this. I have been attending a small church on a small island in the Caribbean (where everyone knows everyone pretty well) and there are a few young mothers that have come to church dressed (IMHO) quite immodestly. More like they're going to the beach instead of to the throne room. They are young and attractive women. So many men struggle with (secret) sexual and porn addictions, it can't help to have to deal with it when you're trying to focus on worshipping God. It distracts me, so it must be worse for them. I don't know how to address it, so I've just prayed about it. I believe I have actually seen an improvement, too! To me, it's about reverence and respect for the Father, as well as not causing a brother to stumble.
How true and timely! Our daughters have taken on the standard of the world when they dress. I work at a bible college and I find that even there, I have to constantly tell young women to cover up. Actually, the young male students are the main ones to complain about how the women dress. I tell them, these men are trying to be saved and they should not have to avert their eyes when speaking to you, nor sit behind you and see your thong underwear! We have to step up, speak up and be the godly example for them.
This is an article for most young people today! And not just the young ladies, because there are young guys out there who need to hear the message, too! I'm sending this to all my staff pastors and friends with teenagers (especially)
I recently had a discussion w/a minister about this very issue. I visited a church and could not get past the First lady, her visiting friends who happened to be first ladies, all of whom had on jeans so tight and revealing they had to lay down to zip them up. The minister told me to focus on clothes was legalistic. I maintained that for leaders to not address appearance is irresponsible. God didn't take the time to give us all the details about appropriate appearance because He had nothing else to do. I believe it is critical for our witness to others, and deals w/our own fruit of the spirit (temperance). Great post, I'm going to blogroll on my site, www.mulloverthis.wordpress.com
Thank you for a timely article, our Christian brethren need to be reminded we should not be like the world. We have to hold Godly standards and it has become so easy to stray from the correct path. Sometimes, we just need a reality check and I think this article can help serve that purpose.
Hi Valerie,
That was great piece straight from the heart.I will let my teenage daughter read this.You are doing great,more grace to you for inspiring piece like this.
How true! I have personal experience in this arena. Once, when I was standing around in a small group visiting with some friends after church, one of the young men kept turning his back or shoulder to me and I felt cut out of the group and offended. I considered him a male chauvanist for quite a while after that, thinking he was dis-respecting me. Only years later when I asked him about that episode did I learn that he was actually trying to avert his eyes, because a dress that I thought covered me just fine in the mirror from my five foot two perspective was actually much more revealing of my cleavage from his taller height. - Something to consider!
Great article! I have recently need to let a sister in the lord know about her attire. I do have an issue with what guys are wearing in church also. Ripped up jeans are a distraction; too baggy of the trousers is another - shows sloppiness-and I'm talking about when we can see their boxers. I don't need to see what brand of underwear guys are wearing. I need to see Jesus in them! How come men are not confronting these young men about this? I must admit, I have seen men in their 30's wearing their jeans/shorts in this fashion. Some are even Youth Pastors. Please encourage your husbands, friends etc to mention to males about this, to be able to approach them and let them know that we pretty girls that are single are not attracted to this attire.Saved and unsaved guys need to know - we don't like it at all.
Great article - I've struggled with this in the past and sometimes still do. One thing that amazes me is that husbands seem to think it's okay for their wives to parade around half-naked and exposed. That's bizarre! Husbands used to want their wives covered up, now it seems they WANT everyone to see "what they've got". One poster mentioned praying for women and their manner of dress - she's right because sometimes you can't go up to a person and admonish them "in love". I know I'm praying for several women in my church - not just about their mode of dress, but about the way they "carry" themselves, in general. When my husband and I first got married, the devil attacked us by using the most by using "church people" and family members! The women (both married and single) would blatantly flirt with my husband - it was unbelievable! Let's use our spiritual warfare and obliterate the influence of the Enemy in the lives of men and women all over - ESPECIALLY in the church!
Thank you, my sister! At times those of us who pastor churches with our husbands and take this type of stand feel like the "Lone Rangers" and have been sharply criticized by other leaders who feel like we should just accept the fact that the people (older and younger) are now "free" to dress whatever way they want. I came up with "overbearing" dress codes in the church and I will not submit anyone to that, yet there should be some modesty and decency in our apparel and you addressed this wonderfully. God bless you, please keep up this wonderful work!
So true! The word of God lets us know that we're to be an example to the believer also. However, I've noticed that some younger church women sometimes critize sisters that cover "too much." I've had to stand up for friends of mine that get ridiculed because they like wearing light sweaters in the summer time. I've been told that my pants and dresses were a little big for me. (I could wear a tight size 7 or a looser size 9. i choose the nine, because I've been bought with a price..no longer my own will) I use to battle with wearing clothes that were way too tight, but God brought me out of that mindset! So to my sisters out there, if u know a sister in Christ who enjoys being modest and doesn't care if there clothes look frumpy, leave us alone please. Let us not be concerned with be fashionable if we choose. Thank you! Lotsa love in Christ always!
Quite interesting and encouraging article. Guess we need this more in my country (Nigeria) cos our youths particularly ladies are totally sold out to indecent dressing.In that name of copying "civilisation" we've thrown decorum to the winds. American 'celebrities' suddenly became the standard of dressing/living so much so that institutions and Churches were forced to make policies on "dress code". It's even a current issue in our national assembly. Most believers, unfortunately, are shamelessly dressing in manners unbecoming of what they profess yet they insist God is more interested in our heart and not appearance; "appearance does not matter".They'll then proceed to ask you about this or that popular American Preacher or Gospel artist. It's so bad that when confronted by muslims on the issue, one would be forced to hide one's face in shame and disgrace. We should be the ones setting the standard and being referred to in all manner of godly conducts and not the other way round. As for me, I have long concluded that no one is qualified to be my standard outside of the Bible. It's really intriguing to hear that even in their often mentioned America, some right thinking and Bible believing Christians like you are speaking up against indecent dressing. God bless you for that please keep it up.
Thank you for writing this piece.
This is a right on time message for the women of today, regardless of their age.
I am a 68 yr old mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother.
Anytime that I was the Lord's house, I inwardly knew that I needed to dress appropriately.
I have a 45 yr old daughter that I have had to address this issue with her. She feels that she should be able to dress according to how she feels at the time. Wrong! I have instructed her that we are to dress as if we were going to meet the President or the Queen of England; that shows respect and honor.
The way we dress should always reflect the Holiness of God, because He is Holy. We have the responsibility to show respect in the House of God. It bothers me when I see women, and yes, men, come to church in shorts.
IF this is all they have to wear and IF this is their first time coming into church, then we need to be gracious and accept them into the House of the Lord. But, if they continue coming to church in such attire, then it is up to the mature Christians to inform them of a more proper attire, even if it means we need to help them financially to buy a proper outfit for church service.
By the way, this is just my opinion in the proper way to dress to show respect in the House of God. We need to be holy because He is Holy.
Post a Comment
<< Home