A Message to Single Women
If another person asks me why I am not married before they ask me my name, I'm going to pull my hair out! I'm just kidding. I'm actually used to people asking me about the "M-word."
But for many women, it’s difficult to accept the fact that they are single. For too long, single women (and some men) have bought into the lie that they are somehow incomplete because they’re not married. Unfortunately, the church perpetuates this sort of thinking, but it’s both untrue and unbiblical.
As a result, some women waste untold amounts of time going back and forth with God trying to cut a deal with Him: “Lord, if You give me a husband, I’ll serve you for the rest of my life! If I were married, God, my husband and I could do unbelievable ministry for You!”
I used to pray similar prayers, but one day I stopped complaining long enough to hear God speak. His word to me is my encouragement to you: Learn to be content in Christ as He unfolds His plans and purposes for your life—but by all means, have a life!
First Timothy 6:6 tells us "godliness with contentment is great gain," and it is. But contentment doesn't mean single women should mope around waiting for a husband.
There are countless opportunities for unmarried women to make an impact on the world. As single women, we can use creative ministry to influence our communities, carry out the gospel in the marketplace and raise our children to live for Him. There’s much work to be done and millions of single women to do it.
So don't spend all your time negotiating with God about sending you a tall, dark and handsome man; use your time to advance the kingdom because His message of covenant love isn’t directed at just married people. It’s for every single one of us.
But for many women, it’s difficult to accept the fact that they are single. For too long, single women (and some men) have bought into the lie that they are somehow incomplete because they’re not married. Unfortunately, the church perpetuates this sort of thinking, but it’s both untrue and unbiblical.
As a result, some women waste untold amounts of time going back and forth with God trying to cut a deal with Him: “Lord, if You give me a husband, I’ll serve you for the rest of my life! If I were married, God, my husband and I could do unbelievable ministry for You!”
I used to pray similar prayers, but one day I stopped complaining long enough to hear God speak. His word to me is my encouragement to you: Learn to be content in Christ as He unfolds His plans and purposes for your life—but by all means, have a life!
First Timothy 6:6 tells us "godliness with contentment is great gain," and it is. But contentment doesn't mean single women should mope around waiting for a husband.
There are countless opportunities for unmarried women to make an impact on the world. As single women, we can use creative ministry to influence our communities, carry out the gospel in the marketplace and raise our children to live for Him. There’s much work to be done and millions of single women to do it.
So don't spend all your time negotiating with God about sending you a tall, dark and handsome man; use your time to advance the kingdom because His message of covenant love isn’t directed at just married people. It’s for every single one of us.
posted by Valerie G. Lowe at
3:19 PM
28 Comments:
Sound great but to be honest easier said than done. I am a truly single woman.... no man, no chidren, never married. Going through a lot of physical challenges alone and just not sure what the point of all this is. I feel having a mate would help with the load of all the stress. I know having a mate is challenging enough, but when you go through the physical challenges of life, this is where true commitment comes in, in sickness or health. God is great, don't get me wrong, but a man that will stand by you when you are truly sick, show a man of true character, that all I ever wanted. And it seems to me, that I must of done something wrong for God to punish me like this.
I too believe it's easier said than done! I'm challenged with "accepting" or finding the "peace" that I may be single for the rest of my life. It's definitely a faith fight for my heart's desire from God. I believe that the whole Bible is based upon the principle of "relationships" and "fellowship." It seems even Jesus himself chose 12 diciples to journey with Him through His ministry on earth. He was God, right? So why would He choose 12 men if He could have done it all by Himself? We also read that "God" not "Adam" said that it wasn't good for man to be alone. It seems if Adam was walking in the cool of the garden with God, wouldn't his needs be fully met? Why would he need Eve? But we read that God said that it wasn't good for man to be alone. I believe the writer is correct when she says, "We shouldn't mope around waiting for a husband!" The writer is just saying that God knows "ALL" of our hearts desires so live your life to the fullest until God sends that special man. It's all in God's timing! In the meantime, we should utilize our single time fully for God's work. I guess we all are challenged sometimes with the timing of the Lord but we also know that He's always on-time too!
I'm a single woman who has never been married. I will be turning 35this summer. The Lord has promised me a godly, anointed man of God and has confirmed it several times through at least ten different prophetic words over the past 15 years of my life. My vision is to be in minstry together with my husband working to build the kingdom as a team. About six years ago I left everything to serve the Lord in full-time ministry. It was an awesome season of consecration and preparation for what is ahead. However, over the past few years I've been extremely "hope-deferred" over the whole marriage issue. I've had my seasons of rising above the heart-ache and desire for a mate and standing on the word of the Lord and becoming content in Him. However, over the past two years I really felt as if I was totally losing faith over this issue. This month Chuck Pierce has a prayer-focus out which says we need to begin praising the Lord for the answers and declaring the promises that He has spoken over our lives...this is Passover month which signifies "crossing-over" into our future. Personally, this is where I am at right now. I'm now holding the Lord to His word and declaring that the promise that He gave me of my husband is coming forth! Like Abraham, I've decided to "hope against hope" and believe that God is not a man that He should lie...His promises are "Yes and Amen!". Like Jacob, I am wrestling with the Lord over this issue and saying "I will not let go until you bless me!" Yes, there are seasons of trying to be content as a single person, but then there is also a time to declare and proclaim that the promise is on the way! Each of us must personally discern what season God has us in. Sometimes the enemy is even trying to hold good things back from us...if that is the case, then we need to begin to war over our promises and our futures. Praise is the very thing that will create the atmosphere in our lives for the Lord to release His blessings and the answers to our prayers!
I am 34 years old and have never been married. I have not been in a relationship with a man in over 10 years and I can relate soooo much to what's been said already. I recently climbed out of the pit of discontentment about being single, not knowing my God-given purpose, and feeling overall like my life is not going anywhere. I want to encourage every single woman in Christ to 1)believe on the One who God sent (John 6:29)and to 2)speak those things that are not as though they were (in Romans some where). If we're made in God's image, let's start behaving like Him and praying His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. There's no discontentment in Heaven nor is there any lack. If being single is a mountain for you, speak to that mountain but remember: Don't neglect relationship with the Creator of the universe and the Giver of all good things.
I enjoyed reading the article. I believe that it takes faith and a lot of COURAGE to live single as a woman, especially a Christian woman. Many times women are expected to be in certain roles, and for whatever reason we are not there. I'm single, never been married. My only real relation lasted 10 years, but that was over five years ago. He was not ready to commit to marriage or God. The next one I don't consider real because he lied about his intentions. We learn a lot in relationships. Sometimes growing up in church we are often hidden from the realities that those that live in the world already know. I do not regret my Christian upbringing, I feel better prepared spiritually, but I do believe that I was also done some injustices in the church for lack of preparation. Even in the church we are soome times promised the fairy tale relationships for good women. The women who do everything the best they can. Do what they are supposed to do. Be in every service, every meeting, every function. Busy doing things, although good, not always developing self. Promised the good anointed and faithful husband. Yes, God gives us gifts and discernment, but the bible also says my people perish because of a lack of knowledge. My heart goes out to all the women that give their best and still have nothing to show. Not saying that a man will make them. But, it helps to have a help mate. Both ways. So, I enjoyed the article, but it is much definitely easier said, than done. I am almost 33 and just now reaching a place where I am accepting my being single. Ok, not really. I accept that I am single, but it is natural for a woman to want a husband and reproduce. It is our nature. Nothing wrong about wanting that. At first, I was doing a good job with being single. But some people make it harder than necessary. We should teach our women to love where they are now. Some times the church is just as hard on single women as the world is. So, much pressure, so many expectations. I have to agree with another poster. She mentioned that she had physical challenges. I have had many health problems over the years, which has affected me in every area of my life. I believe that if I had a good supporting husband, my challenges would not be that great. Most of my friends are married and some go through similar situations and they complain, then they stop and say, "Well, at least my husband helps me with this, or my child has been a big help. You, should be proud of yourself, being single and still pressing on." No. I'm just glad that God gave me the strength yet another day to make it. It is sometimes very hard. Very hard. Not having someone to confide in or share my life with is some times depressing. I don't waste a lot of time focusing on it. But, it is a reality. I have faith in God. I believe that God placed these desires in our heart to want a good Christian husband and family. I see nothing wrong with wanting the desire that God placed in my heart.
Yes, we can serve God when we are single. I was married for 15 years and have been single for 16 years. Presently I am in the midst of a ministry start-up and traveling to Africa this summer to preach and teach. There are days that it would be great to be married again, but then there are days like the one's I am having lately where I am enjoying my life as I plan to travel. We must all remember we are a "whole" person in Jesus including when we are single. God tells us to be content in all circumstances, when it times or if marriage ever comes around again it will be God that will orchestrate his choice. In the meantime I will continue to serve God and enjoy the life he has given me.
I'm married now but I had a hard time as a single woman especially as I was based in a church with some very good looking brothers who did not seem interested in settling down or if they did it was with women from other churches. I used to pray to God everyday about meeting "the One", but I found that I so wanted to be with someone it over took my relatioonship with God. I went from one extreme to the other either going to church and talking to other single sisters - just as miserable as myself with our status or proudly anouncing that "Jesus is my Husband" and saying I was "happy" to be single as it meant that God was preparing me for to be a helpmeet. But that was just a cover and I went home lonely, frustrated. Then one day it hit me that the root of not being a "satisfied single" was fear even the "faith" that i would be married one day was borne out of fear and fear leads to so many other things, I found that I became jealous and resentful of others who successfully found their mate, I served God with conditions, I was not at peace, the truth of the cross didn't even get a look in and I was proclaiming to be a christian!!!! I had to change my mindset and yes I hear sisters (and brothers) saying it is easier said than done but just like repentence I had to make a decision to turn my thinking around and focus on what God was doing in me as there were other issues such as low self-esteem, anger et that were standing in the way of my relationship with Him and of being His ambassador on earth. I started to encourage myself in the Lord, thanking HIm for my life as a singleton, I served Him wholeheartedly as an usher, I helped out wherever I could in church, at work, with my friends and family. Then in my quiet times I fasted, prayed and just spoke to God not about finding a husband but about finding myself in Him, i asked that I be so caught up in Him that marrying is not a big deal. Because at the end of the day even as a married woman my relationship with God is as an individual and if I was almost idolising my singleness what would I do when I got married. We have to re-focus away from ourselves and our needs onto God who said that he would supply all our needs according to His riches in glory. There are so many Biblical references that says that God is on our side and that he will do what He can for us unconditionally but what are we doing for Him when we are single. It goes beyond actions, i.e going to church everyweek, praying etc and it has to do with our attitude and how sincere we are before HIm. furthermore maybe having a husband/wife is not the right time but we have to trust God with that decision - to be honest what other choice do we have. We try to make it happen and we will end up frustrated.
Anyway, I am married now and it all happened so suddenly as I was at the place where I was not even bothered if I got married or not because I had a joy that was so amazing I can't even describe it. Many of you may say that it is easy for me to say now that I am married but i will not forget what i went through and how God spoke to me and together my focus was directed back onto Him and as a result I found that peace and contentment. What i experienced is my testimony and I do hope that I can encourage someone with it.
I totally understand all of the comments listed. I am a single mom, of three. I have been divorced (I hate that word!)for six years. I was happily married, to a Christian man for 10 years and then literally suffered through 6 years of unfaithfulness and verbal and emotional abuse. I stood for my marriage and believed for my ex-husband to have a restored relationship with his Father and his natural family. He filed for divorce and immediately remarried. I went through a grieving period and have only "gone-out" with one person. I am now at peace and, most importantly, so is my household. My kids and I minister at church and volunteer in their schools.
As much as I know that there is a Godly man "out there" looking for me (!) I'm good right now. I would not wish my experience on anyone!! I would rather face my occasional bouts of loneliness than the hurt that I went through. It doesn't have to be easy, but let Him "...turn your mourning into dancing..."! YOU are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made!
It has been interesting reading the many comments and seeing how people cope with being single. My husband died recently and I am finding out how lonely it is to be single, but slowly realize that I can do things on my own because God is my strength.
Too many times we focus on "us" and our wants until we are willing to take anything that comes along, even if it is not in God's will. The need to be needed and loved is in each of us, but we can find peace and contentment in God when we place it in His hands and wait on His timing.
Perhaps that husband would be a detriment to our walk with God, so He says "No" not to be mean, but for our own good. We need to focus not so much on having a husband, but in finding God's will for our lives. Like the woman who said she found her husband when she quit looking, our main focus should be not demanding God give us someone, but asking God to guide us in His will.
Anonymous
This is my frist time viewing this site sent to me by a friend.I read all the comments. I know what it feel like to be alone,I know what it feel to hurt,I know what it feel like to doubt,I know what it feel like to love and have someone love you back,I also know what it feel like to have been love. The most important thing I've learned about being without a mate is that I'm.When my husband past a year ago the lord has been telling me every sense keep my eyes on him.The devil will challenge in every area of life because you choose to let him. God said his timing is not our timing.No matter how long it take or lonely you get just run to the lord he will give you what you strengthen you.Remember you're never along.I was married for 20 years,yes I miss my husband and before I was married I had been praying to the lord to send my someone who loved me for me and he did after 8 years which is when I met my decesed husband. I can go on and say more about how you can have a life without a mate. May God bless all those who Know how to love.
As long as (most) man continue to be dishonest with women and cheat. I would rather be alone. I have experienced men who dont put God first, they lie and cheat and its almost like an epidemic. I noticed women who are cheating with a married man just so she can have WHAT a cheating man. I realize in my forties the chance of me finding a man are very slim. I love God and he loves me and if that is the only man I have in my life for the rest of my life I am happy because he will take care of me.
I enjoyed your article very much and I am married to a wonderful man whom God sent my way when I wasn't even looking. As single women, one of which I was, we can be quite pathetic. We live mediocre lives in God and then expect Him to give us our hearts desires. He is definitely not mocked because He knows the hearts of all of us and He knows that as soon as some people get married, all those promises and fleeces go out the window. I am not saying that I am super duper spiritual but God's word cannot lie and will not lie but let's face it, not all women will marry because the ratio is too high. When I got saved "for real, for real" and I say that because I used to play church and play with God with my superficial desire. But when I truly surrender all to Him and was faithful with all of me, all my body parts. Out of the blue, he sent the man I had even forgotten I had asked Him for. I was celibate for five years, didn't even date because I had a lot of issues that I needed to work on. I took time to know and love myself and enjoyed my own company. I volunteered my time, got me a pet, raised a son as a single woman, had church brothers mentored my son and kept God in His place as the head of my life. I hate to break it to you sisters, you're only gonna get a husband, God's way. Are you willing to even give those desires up? Can He test your heart and find you faithful or are you just romancing Him until Mr Right shows up? He did it for me and He can do it for you but let it be His way. He knows exactly what you need when you need it. Dont let yourself settle, dont accept the counterfeit because you cant wait. Develope a love affair with yourself and Him and He'll sent you a man gift wrapped in His righteousness.
Wow! nice article. All the comments are great in that they reflect truth in each personal situation. Everyones challenge is different, and I don't personally believe that all women are being selfish. Thank you to the single women who have already been married. At least you have your on personal married experience to compare to singleness. You have to opportunity to view things from a different perspective, which can put you at an advantage than those who have never had that.
Being content even when you desire to be is not always easy. It takes work some times. I believe that I am content. I trust God, I am not running after or looking for a man. I 32 and have only dated 2 men my entire life. That's because I don't want to waste my time playing games with the wrong people. But, as it has been for me and a lot of other christian women. We still end up single and wanting to have that special someone. I not bashing anyone who has supported the site with the faithful encouraging comments. But, the fact is many of us have been very patient and very faithful. Yes, we accept that things are done in God's time. If you are so strong and made it through then please pray for those who have not. It is much easier said than done. With Love.
Gosh, this blog makes me just want to give a warmmmmm hug to all the single women who have posted a comment because unfortunately, it seems that the tone of this blog is leaning towards condemnation to the believer!
Why is everyone stating "conditions" of (why) or (why not) these single women don't have a husband?" I guarantee even the married women stumbled along the way before they received a husband. There is no magic formula! Or some "act" they did to finally receive a husband.
I don't believe God has NOT released husband's to these desiring women of God because of something they "HAVEN'T" done for the Lord! I believe every single woman on this board dearly loves the Lord and does want His will for their life!
The blessings of God are purely based on His Love for us...NOT based upon any works or deeds!
What "conditions" would be warranted if a person needed healing? Or what "conditions" if an unsaved family member still isn't saved after years of praying? Would you tell them that it was "something" they haven't done that prohibits their blessing from coming to pass???? No, you'd tell them not to give up, don't stop praying and to continue to believe!!!!
The answer is PRAYER AND FAITH! The same will apply to a HUSBAND!
A need is a need with God. He is our Jehovah Jirah! He is our God who provides! We are told to come boldly into His thrown room and ask ANYTHING according to His will. It is His will for EVERY single person desiring a companion!
It's my prayer that every single woman who posted will receive their unanswered prayer this year and will soon share their testimony on this site!!!
I love this article and enjoyed reading the comments. I can't relate to being a single woman because I married my first love at the age of 19 years old. But I do understand that only Christ can truly fill the empty places in our hearts. I married the man of my dreams, thinking he would be everything I needed. It was smooth sailing for a number of years, but then the storms came into our marriage, leaving me empty. The Lord picked me up, healed my heart and restored my marriage. My husband and I are about to celebrate 23 years of marriage. Our marriage is a true gift from God. It is my desire that others will learn from our mistakes,look to Christ for fulfillment - then marriage will be the icing on the cake!
Amy
I am 55 years old, single - never married. Both parents are deceased, have no siblings, few family members, and not dating. Added to that I have lupus, fibromyalgia and lung dis-ease. It's easier said than done being content while single. Contentment is a daily challenge. Despite the pain, loneliness and difficuties, I cling to His promise that he will never leave nor forsake me, and the promise in Isaiah 34:16 - "none of these will be missing, not on will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together. I have stopped looking for the bible says "He that findeth a wife..." I am convinced that I will be married to a great prayer warrior. I encourage you to cling to the promises as well
I too am single. Being widowed at a young age, I also hold the responsibility to raise my 10-year old son. It is not easy! But I find comfort in the scriptures that the Lord is "a husband to the widow", and "a father to the fatherless". I am one in process, and following hard after Him regardless of the heartache. I believe, in His sovereignty, He allows things that will draw us CLOSER TO HIM. I personally believe that the Lord will not send me a man, until my heart is completely devoted to Him - to Him alone! Ladies, we need to look to Him! He wants to be our First Love! Too often we have idols in our lives that get in the way of our relationship with the Lord. We can even idolize the man in our life, or the very idea of marriage. But, God is a jealous God. He will do everything to get out attention, and longs for our devotion to be turned toward Him. I have begun Kathy Troccoli's Bible Study called "Falling in Love with Jesus" - it has brought healing to my broken heart - and has turned my face toward Him! I encourage you to read it ... be encouraged in HIS LOVE ... for it is perfect, pure and unconditional. He will meet you were you are!
This is an awesome discussion! I have been single for 5 years now and am raising 3 children on my own. And it's a hard job. I too long for a husband to help me along in this world. But what I've realized is that often we get our priorities out of order. God must always be first in our lives. Before our kids and before our husband. This is what God is showing me. That He will provide for us and our families but we must always remember that our first devotion is to Him alone. We are to give God the first of everything and that includes our time and attention. I'm still working on that. It's easy to let the material world overwhelm us and take control of our lives. It is tough being single. We are completely right in wanting a husband. But the husband should never come before God. I think that's why He makes us wait sometimes. To give us the time to get our priorities straight. I don't think anyone here is trying to say that we don't have a husband because we're doing something wrong. I think we're trying to say that God is giving us time to get into Him so that when He finally brings our husbands to us we will be able to enjoy that blessing all the more. Don't lose hope. He provides for our every need.
Amazing responses and I am so very proud of each woman expressing themselves freely and openly. I am in my late 40s; was married for 15 yrs only to find myself living a single life within the marriage of lies, deceit and nothingness. Talk about a process of Recovery - thank God for God, He never leaves us or forsake us and in the process of all knowing, He delivers us, blesses us, breaks us, clean us up and prepare us for His glory and riches - No one elses. It's definitely a triangle - God first, get yourself together, share His good works and wait in due season as we continue to do His will not ours - It'll come and like Nicky of the UK said - When you least expect it. It has happened to me, coming into a hope of glory with uncertainty and someone to touch on the very things you thought you were clear of - amazing grace how God sends a messenger of points of reference where we need to take a look at and work on with the hope of Glory and what's in front of us. We are never alone, single or without. Let's remain grateful because it could have gone another way whereas we are unable to see Him who will bring "it" (whatever the "it" may be) to us and will take us through the Refinery Fire. Oh, to be made whole for the next level - on and on and on. I hope I make sense to the unseen, lost and weakened. Just hold on, you are right where He wants you to be.
Abundant blessings to all of my single sisters! I thank God for each of your story. I have my own story (quite lengthy, but very good); however, after reading all of yours, I would try to sum it all up by saying in the words of Pastor Marvin Winans, "I'm alone, but not alone cause I 'know' Him, and as long as I do, I'm not alone."
Can I tell you something, our situation could be worse. We could be single without having a loving God on our side who loves us unconditionally.
I'm in my forties; I've never been married, and never had children.
In spite of the many, many years of what others would despise and call a pit-prison life (seemingly, no palace in view), I'm so glad that God has been with me as He was with Joseph, and He is still with me.
The Holy Spirit enables me to live a victorious life as a single. He encourages me to take one day at a time looking unto Jesus who is the Author and Finisher of my faith, Who is indeed, my True Knight in Shining Armor.
God is faithful, and He knows each of our heart's desire. No "good" thing will He withhold from those who walks uprightly.
Be encouraged and know that the BEST is yet to come!
My love and prayers,
Princess G
Wow, I commend you all for sharing your hopes, fears, and failures. I appreciate your transparency and not masking the difficulties of singleness with Christian clichés.
I’m in my mid twenties and live in NYC and its hard to meet men…..and extremely difficult to meet godly men.
Lately I have been struggling with temptation as I wait on God. I have become distracted by my own immediate want and needs and stop trusting God. It’s so hard to completely submit this area of my life to God. Sometimes it’s so difficult to hang on to the faith, hope, and desire when day after day my situation remains the same: single.
It’s hard to keep the faith when I read stories about women much older than me and see many of my beautiful Christian girlfriends desiring companionship (or even a descent date) but seeing no compatible godly men in sight.
I believe in personal wholeness, contentment, and God is my source of joy. I don’t buy into the idea of Prince Charming, Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace is the savior who set my heart free, I don’t need a man for that.
But I’m human and desire companionship and family. These things are good legitimate Godly desires but I’m not sure how to trust God with these desires. I’m so afraid of being disappointed and afraid of the vulnerability that comes with remaining in faith.
I always keep my faith going with one of God's promises, which is he will never give me more than I can handle. God knows me and he knows I couldn't handle being single for the rest of my life. I am 38 yrs old and live in The Big apple where meeting a christian man is hard , yet alone meeting the one. In 2002 2 days before, I canceled what was supposed to be the greatest day of my life. It really didnt feel right and only with God's strength was I able to do it.I now know that it was the right decision and that God is working on me to make me the perfect wife and he is working on my perfect husband. By perfect I mean God's will in my life. I thank God everyday that I didnt go through that with that wedding.Now I pray for patience, cause I know my husband is out there.
I love weighing in on this subject because it gives me the opportunity to share revelations I received from the Lord. First, who do you think God is that he divides womankind into those who will be married and those who will remain single? Marriage is a CHOICE, not God's will for certain people. He doesn't wrap certain people up in a box and label them mateless. God is a relational God and is more aware of the importance of being in relationship with others than we are. Granted, there are singles who choose to remain that way because they are downright joyful right where they are. For those who desire a mate, God is more than happy to oblige in His time not ours. The goal is to submit to His process in learning to be a whole person, not leading a depressed existence because of the view that we (yes, I'm single as well) are incomplete. Holding your breath and believing that a husband will give you joy won't work for many reasons. Specifically, you will put unrealistic demands on the person to give you something only God can give. God has to be the center. The man he chooses to love us is simply an earthly reflection of His love. As an employee at Family Court, I see marriages dissolve daily because of people's unhealed issues, failing to allow God to select the mate, and placing unrealistic demands on the person once they are married. Further, men sense desperation and flee. If we are real honest with ourselves, many of us have settled for a long term relationship that didn't end in marriage, as well as dating married and separated men in hopes of finally getting to the altar. Our choices have the potential to move us farther away from the love we desire. Use this time to be the best you you can be; fulfilling your God-given purpose. The joy you receive from doing so will complete you-not a husband. Ironically, God sends the husband when we are joyful and living on purpose. Be blessed and not stressed!
I thank God for this website and the writer's article.
I am single, never married, have no children and now 47 years old. Unfortunately, I can't say I am a virgin, but I have been celibate since the mid-80's. God has truly kept me over the years and for that I thank Him. I've learned during this time: 1) how to be totally honest with the Lord (He already knows me inside out anyway) and lose the religiosity with Him and others that can often plague Christians. It makes life much simpler; 2) that marriage is not always a bed of roses and with it comes many difficult adjustments as well as trials and temptations; 3) God knows me better than I know myself and if I were joined in marriage to most I would have chosen, I would probably be in a miserable state or divorced by now.
Though I may get a little lonely for a mate at times, I find that trusting the One to whom I've given my entire life (mind, body and spirit), knows what's best, and if He thought I were truly ready for marraige right now, and it fit His plans for my life, I would be. If He thought I would be more blessed and content with a husband at this time, my spouse would be here. So, I will wait on the Lord, growing and living my life to the fullest and expecting nothing but the best in the future.
I just want to say that it has been a real journey for me. I am a 31 year old single mother of three and I have never been married. I have read most of the postings and everything that all has said is beneficial. I think that the bottom line to it all is that we have got to come to that place where we fall in love with God. The bible says that He is our husband. At least that is the word that He gave to me. Isaiah 54:5 Having a natural mate is a great resposibility and if one can not handle the spiritual responsibility of being God's bride then it is a disservice to become married. It is all for the glory of God and if He hasn't given any of us a husband yet then know that it is all because He feels that we are not yet ready. It is easier to do this thing when "resting" in the arms of the Almighty. There is no comfort and no hand that can touch like Jehovah!I know that some may say, " I understand all that "but". That is where the problem comes in. When "but" is followed by a comment made or a response to something pertaining to moving forward in the new, that is a problem. All I am saying is God knows what we need when we need it. He did say that it is not good for man to be alone, it wasn't until Adam had come to the fullness of God's time in what God had for him to do that He said that. We women are for the men and it is when God sees that the man is in need of the woman not the other way around Eve was complete when she was "given" to Adam. She was completed by God Almighty. It never states how long Adam had to wait to receive Eve. Just know it was a period of time. God's now is not our now. We are in time;He is in eternity. Let's get into eternity and enjoy being completed so that we will be what we need to be for "Adam".
Wow! I came across youre blog through my pastor's blog. I am a single women, raising five wonderful kids on my own. I have to admit, that it can get rough at times, and you feel overwhelmed, but then you remember that he would never give you more than you could handle!!
I was blessed by the article as well as many of the comments that were posted. I am a single woman, aged 36. I am single; never married and no children. By the grace of God I am still a virgin. There have been temptations and a few proposals, but God has helped me to overcome the temptations and shown me that the brothers who have come my way are not for me. I enjoy my work; I teach swimming and PE in a private school. I enjoy my work in church; I am in the children ministry. Although when I meet people I have not seen in a long time, the question usually is "Are you married?" I sometimes wonder why it is not "Are you in God's will?" I am fulfilled, but I know that God still has someone for me and in his time the person will show up. Until then, I am living my life as God wants me to.
I am a Women Of GOD and I will be divorced from my natural husband this friday Dec 19th (I choose this man, not God)Going thru this process has been a blessing because I trusted and leaned into my own ways and understanding of doing things. BUT, GOD with his wisdom and knowledge and him knowing how to mold me and create in me his spirit and showing me his will for my life im able to say YES LORD. Im leaving the natural man to be married to Jesus the spirit man. I can wait this time on the Lord and serve him and keep my self unspoiled by thinking a man (natural) can make me whole. To me Jesus is the only thing I need. His words remind me in Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his Righteousness;and all THESE things shall be added unto you" HALLELUJAH Im not a needy women I will wait upon the Lord to prepare me to be a Help Meet for a man.
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